The Addiction of Fear
by Black-Cotton
Summary: Bella has left Edward due to his resistance of changing her. It wasn't easy, though. She finds somebody after pain and struggle. But will Edward haunt her until she comes back to the other half of her heart? Or will she refuse?
1. Naming of the Dead

((Hola to my fellow writers out there who love the Twilight series. I'm Black-Cotton and this is going to be the second story I will be working on. For those of you who are a fan of _Wilted Petal--_which is not in any way related to this fiction--might find me as an author who writes short chapters. Behold, I am impatient and not afraid to admit it. Instead of making long chapters, I continually make a lot of short chapters, which in turn make up for faults. I do not rely on reviews, but I respect them by all means (especially **_constructive_** criticism). It's nice to come home from school and see a hand-full of comments, but that's just one out of the many positive things of writing. I hope to accommodate you on an awesome ride with Bella and the Cullen family as well as my own characters, and gain your trust and admiration. I have to say, though, that I am busy and attracted to procrastination. Feel free to hound me with emails until I get back on track.

With that said, I leave you with only the phrases of my story. Please enjoy.))

Disclaimer: In honor of Stephenie Meyer, I do not own her characters, or the creativity she has unleashed to us from the heart of her world.

**Chapter One:**

**Naming of the Dead**

_Bella's POV_

I press my hand to my swollen belly.

The heart thuds in a rhythmic beat.

As the due-date gets closer, I am beginning to discover one thing that overrides my deepest fears: excitement. In a world that carries the seven deadly sins, I hold the deadliest: the art of being Proud. I am proud for leaving Edward and the Cullen family. I am proud for turning my life in a 180-degree spin and landing straight into Luke's arms. I am proud of so many things; I can make a list.

Many people think I'm ridiculous for leaving Edward. Charlie is even regretful. But I have my reasons. Edward Cullen is a vampire; Isabella Swan is a human. Let's see a show of hands for those of you that can make out a comparison.

He promised to change me, yet he never could do it. He also knew that I wanted _him_ to do the deed--not Alice or Carlisle_--_and make it so we were sole-mates in a number of ways. He took advantage of that aspect. Time was running out. The wasted years were slipping out of my caressed hands like water. Not to say my years with him were wasted, but I couldn't even kiss him passionately. Everything was always on alert. And soon the dream of myself as an old lover to Edward gnawed me from the inside out.

The time came when I had to leave.

It wasn't easy. Walking away was like cutting half of my heart and tearing it from my body--figuratively speaking. Alice acted like a medium after I left. She'd contact me a few times a month, trying to sort the good and the bad. Her goal was to reunite Edward and me. The last time she called me, she claimed she had a vision. I cut her off and told her I couldn't go back; that I had to move on. Selfish, I know.

I took on depression, along with the medication to cure it. The funny thing was that the pills didn't work, no matter how many I took. They never seemed to take the edge off of the pain. What they did do, though, was blur the line of right from wrong. I want to say I was strong, but I was far from it. No one knew that I overdosed. That part of my life was easy. I took about 20-25 pills of one strong prescription a day. I was lucky I wasn't dead on the spot. My friends were alcoholics. We all had at least one thing in common: we didn't know what do to with ourselves. I wasn't one to drink, though.

I had no home. My shelter was the bathroom settled in New York's subway--kind of like The Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith. That was when Luke sought after me. He was the local police officer assigned in the subway. I never knew it, but he followed my every footstep without me knowing. When I was sleeping inside the bathroom, he'd sleep just outside the door. When I was cold and shivering, he'd take off his own jacket and let me borrow it for the rest of the day. My memory was a little flaky, but on one occasion I remember him pulling me away from the railway when I nearly fell in front of a train.

At first I thought he was a true saint and did it out of pure kindness--and it _was_ like that in the beginning. But as the months passed by, I grew a strange liking towards him, and he somehow felt the same way no matter how much I was messed up.

One day, I went too far. How I got a hold of so many depressants, I can't tell. I ended up on a bench, unconscious. When Luke tried to wake me, I wouldn't respond. He sent out for an ambulance...

In no way, shape or form, can I remember my recovery. I went under, but somehow I got back up. I think it was because I knew Luke was waiting on the other side. He had always been waiting, he says, from the first day he looked at me. My dad paid for the rehab since my insurance couldn't cover it. The days in rehab were the darkest of my life, hence why I cut them from my memory. Charlie would visit me on holidays and Luke would visit once a week. Those were the only times I could remember.

When I finally was released, Luke made sure I staid sober. He was there every step of the way, holding my hand. He knew he was walking on eggshells with my addiction. If he'd confront me, I'd flat out throw a tantrum. I'd scratch him, tear his clothing, and bite his arm when he pulled me away from those damn pills. Yes, I was like a child. Somehow he still wasn't ashamed to stay by my side. I'd cry myself asleep, but Luke would hold me while I was crying. How in the world did I deserve such a man, you ask, I have no idea.

And so, like I said, I got through it. I could see clearly again. It took me four years to understand what I was doing to myself. Luke and I got married two years later, of course.

Now I stand in a cemetery, as a 26-year-old who is 7 months pregnant, all the wiser. No one has died, trust me. I visit this place often. Sometimes Luke joins me when he's not working. People may ask why I go to a cemetery for my peace of mind. The answer is it's relaxing. I like to walk around and give the owner of the grave a history. And when I really muster the courage, I venture in the infant section. I look for names that would fit for my unborn child. The quietness of the dead soothes me.

In a world that carries the seven deadly sins, I hold the deadliest.

My name is Isabella Swan and my story is just beginning.


	2. Trick of the Minds' Eye

Disclaimer: Nope. Sorry, you've got the wrong number. Stephenie Meyer is over on the side where the grass is much greener.

**Trick of the Minds' Eye**

Bella's POV

_I love how the colors of spring naturally mingle together and act completely oblivious to it._

The wind blew lightly across my features, whirling the strands of hair that had escaped from my ponytail. The ends of the tests that were being graded flapped up in unison to each other. I held them down with one hand and graded the one I had in front of me with the other.

In a distance, I heard a little girl squeal. I looked up from my paper work for a moment, loving the procrastination I had given myself, and watched as she ran from a girl who was similar in age. Both were an estimate of six or seven years old. I smiled faintly, remembering days when I had done the same with my friends. Days that seemed the Popsicles from the ice cream truck were a safe haven. I turned my head and observed a diminutive boy being pushed by his mother on a red, plastic swing. With each push, he went higher.

Memorial Park was a new addition to my life. I had just discovered it after Luke and I moved here about two months ago. The park fit the match of various personalities. It was a place for kids, pets, teens and adults. Somehow it calmed me just as the cemetery did, though they were complete polar opposites.

I leaned my head on my right hand, admiring the wedding ring on my left. Light danced on the diamonds in a waltz that would never end. I sighed, now averting my full attention to dissect the meaning of the ring. Was it love or marriage itself? Was it something to symbolize that another claimed this person? Maybe it was a combination of all these things. Maybe it was a combination of nothing at all.

No, of course it was something. The thought of looking the definition up on the Internet dawned on me. I was truly curious.

I looked back down at the tests I had to grade for 9th grade Communication Arts. Grading was not something I was fond of. Dare I say it; the outcome of teaching my students was substandard. It was almost unbearable. But of course, unbearable would have been bearable. Sure, I have a few teacher's pets. They give me apples and wish me a good pregnancy, but the vast majority of my class was boys who didn't know how to take care of their hygiene. Heck, they were always a step away from wrestling in the center of the classroom. It was my first semester of teaching without the assistance of a more experienced advisor. The adventure was scary, but enjoyable. I only taught the last hour of the day so I kept it easy on my pregnant self.

_Focus,_ I thought to myself, turning back to the tests in the middle of the picnic table.

As if on cue, another draft of wind picked up. I would have welcomed it on different circumstances. Instead, I watched in slow motion as one by one, each of the tests that I had neatly stacked in a pile drift off in abyss. I could have cried.

With one leg at a time, I got up from the table and ran—no, rather wobbled—after the runaway tests. The dress I was wearing fluttered across my knees and my flip-flops nearly tripped me twice. Everything was a catastrophe, seeing as now the papers were already at the other end of the park. Various people helped me race after them.

Something about a pregnant woman in distress must be appealing, I figured, since most of the park occupants were in a line, handing me the papers they had already caught. I thanked all of them with my complete gratitude. Do people know how hard it is to bend down when you can't even see your toes?

"Having trouble?"

I turned around to a familiar voice and smiled. "How did you know I was here?"

Luke handed me the last of the tests and kissed my forehead. "Because you are the other half of my missing self. Therefore, wherever you go, I go."

"Aw, that's nice. Is that a quote from one of the picture books you continue to read?" I grinned.

"Funny," he said. "But I guess with that kind of comment, I'll just eat the sandwich I got for you at Subway." He held up the Subway bag he had hidden behind his back.

"I'm starving." Really, I was.

He winked and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Where do you want to eat?"

"Over there," I said, inclining towards the picnic table I was sitting at.

"How have you been feeling?" He asked.

"Other than the stretch marks, aching feet, constant bladder problem, ultimate clumsiness, uncontrollable cravings and the horrendous headaches I endure, I'm fine."

"Hmm, the symptoms of pregnancy. But the clumsiness factor is normal." He helped me over the bench of the picnic table and sat across from me, getting the sandwiches ready.

I looked over his head to notice a car that was parked on the other side of the road parallel to the park. It was a 911 Turbo--A _yellow _911 Turbo. A masculine figure leaned against the door with his back to me. My heart skipped and suddenly I knew it had to be Emmett standing about two football fields away from me.

"Bella, Jesus Christ, what on earth…?" I looked back at Luke, awakened from my daze. He gestured to my hands.

I looked down and saw that my knuckles were white from holding on to the edge of the table like a lifeline. My breathing, as I began to notice, was gasping reverberated. I looked back up to see if I was delusional, and sure enough, I most likely was. The car was gone. There was no trace that the Cullens had been anywhere near me.

"Bella," This time, Luke grabbed my hands to enfold them in his own. "What's wrong?"

I looked at him, my fear subsiding. Was it fear? "Nothing, I just thought I… saw something. But it was nothing." Which was true. Maybe it was the distance. The heat might have tricked me. It wasn't a sunny day, though…

My stomach growled. Luke smiled and handed me the sandwich. I gladly took it, trying to rid the mind games.

We ate and I started to pack away my tests. "Do you have to go back to work?" I asked. Luke nodded. I sighed in response.

"I'm actually on graveyard shift tonight, too."

I looked up, my eyes pleading. "You wont get enough sleep! Who does Mark Hackney think he is, making you work two shifts?" I grumbled, now angrily stuffing my papers in the bag.

"My boss." Luke rounded the table and caught me in his arms. "Sweetie, I'll be home in time for breakfast. Just try not to trip _up_ the steps."

"We don't have steps."

------

I began to shuffle the deck of cards again. I was playing my 20th game of solitaire, on a role, when the doorbell went off. I looked up at the clock. It was 8:32. There was about two more hours to kill before I would go to bed. It was spring break, but that didn't mean I had to be deprived of sleep.

I padded over to the front door and opened it without looking through the peephole.

Alice stood in front of me, her eyes lit with excitement. "Bella!" Her hands came up to caress my face on both sides. I was surprised by her actions. After all, we hadn't seen each other in seven or eight years.

Over her shoulder, I watched as Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward all file out of the car and make their way towards my house.

"We need to talk," Alice said, her smile defining her beauty to the maximum of its ability.

The other four vampires had already made it to my porch. "Yes," I said, staring at Edward, "we certainly do."

**(A/N: Hope you enjoyed. There'll be more Edward and Bella stuff coming up. R & R.)**


	3. Spider Web of Chaos

Disclaimer: The following characters are owned to Stephenie Meyer.

**Spider Web of Chaos **

_Bella's POV_

"Alice," Edward said her name in a way that made me shudder. At once, Alice's hands dropped from my face, leaving an icy trail where they once were. Her expression changed dramatically from excitement to serious.

I looked over at their yellow 911 Turbo. So I hadn't been delusional. I smiled, thinking it had to be Alice's. Then I suddenly realized they were waiting. "Umm, would you like to come in?" I slowly opened the door wider.

As each vampire entered the house, I marveled over his or her immortal appearance. It was hard not to be envious of their ability to keep such perfect profiles for endless time.

"We're here to inform you we'll be in town for specific reasons," said Jasper. He stood unmoving in the back corner of my living room, politely cautious for my safety.

For a brief second, my mind pondered at why Rosalie wasn't here. I returned back to the conversation and nodded, urging them to continue.

"Because," Emmett said, his voice slick and unemotional, "Alice had a vision." He was bigger than I remember, seemingly a giant to the small confines of my humble abode.

"We didn't want to intrude." My eyes finally slid to Edward, saving the best for last. He was as beautiful as ever, but had no life in his eyes whatsoever. It still startled me that he had once loved me and I him. Heck, I _still_ love him… maybe even more than Luke… but I wasn't about to drive down memory lane. I was well aware those memories were bound to reopen the hole I worked so hard to heal.

I struggled, wanting to say that it was perfectly fine they were here, but I'd be lying through my teeth. "What was the vision about?" I asked, trying to distract myself with knowledge.

"The Volturi," Alice whispered. She looked at me with piercing eyes.

I stood there, dumbfounded. "The Volturi," I repeated, but it wasn't as nearly perfect as Alice had said it. "They've…" I started. "That was a long time ago."

"Not that long. Apparently they're also stopping in for a visit." Emmett scoffed, obviously not pleased with this fact.

"So wait, they're coming here to check if I've been changed—which I haven't, by the way—when I have _this_?" I pointed at my swollen abdomen.

Everyone went silent for a moment. I wave of heat rolled across the surface of my body.

My gaze couldn't help but land on Edward. For an instant, I could almost swear I saw something pass over him. His eyes flashed, but I couldn't read them. It disappeared, making me doubt if I had ever witnessed it in the first place. I felt something instantaneously lift off of me, giving me freedom. I looked at Jasper, silently thanking him.

"Yes," Alice said, answering my original question.

I stuttered. "What about Luke? What's going to happen? How are we supposed to handle this?" I flooded with questions and started to pace. The air conditioning I had on wasn't helping at all. Perspiration started to accumulate on my forehead. The sudden heat flashes were overwhelming. I leaned on the counter for support.

"Alice, can you go get Bella some ice wrapped in a towel, please?" Edward asked, putting his hand along my back. Alice immediately did as she was told and came back in about five seconds flat, record time, with ice. I accepted it and placed it against the back of my neck.

Jasper still hung back. I could tell he was struggling, wanting to help me, but was torn by his need for blood.

Emmett walked towards us, but rammed into my coffee table. The collision resulted in the lamp that had been placed there to fall to the floor. It shattered, breaking into a million pieces that covered the floor in a spider web. "Oops," he mumbled. "I can replace that."

"It's fine," I rasped. "Don't worry about it."

Despite my command, he began to pick up the glass up. Jasper bent down to assist him, thankful for something to do.

"Where are Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie?" I asked, curious.

"They're back at the hotel. In fact, we should return." Edward said, steadying me.

Alice gave me a quick hug, glancing at Edward momentarily before heading out the door. Jasper followed after throwing away the glass, and so did Emmett. Both said their farewells to me by a wave or ruffling my hair. Then it was time for Edward's goodbye.

I silently begged him not to leave. The visit had been so short. And I didn't want the nightmares to come back. Luke wouldn't even be here to hold me together. No one would.

He ran his hand through his stunning locks. "I'm sure you'll see us around town one way or another." Edward offered me a present then, curling his lips in my favorite half smile. But it didn't reach his eyes as it had before, giving the smile less meaning. I tried to smile back, still surprised at his effort.

"Yes," I replied. "I'm sure I will too."

He disappeared out the door, walking to his siblings that were waiting for him in the car.

I closed the door in haste, not wanting them to see the tears that had already formed.

---

The nightmares that I had thought were gone were back again. This time they were more real than before. I woke up after each one, covering my head with a pillow to drown myself out.


End file.
